My Tarnished Halo

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Camera Man

Every once in awhile, things come up about the divorce that upset me all over again. I read someone's wish for a video camera and it got me thinking of how my parents bought us a video camera for my anniversary. Well that camera was used up until the divorce, because my Dad offered up to take control of it at all the big events where the camera was on. He stood in the background taping us all enjoying our festivities. And now he's not there. Damnit. He doesn't come to the family functions any more and all those years of my kids being little are not on video tape to enjoy many years down the road. Damnit all.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Enough is Enough

Since I seem to have a thing for lists, here is a list that will be finished at the end of my post. It needs no crossing off. I don't need to change its order. Contentedness.

I am good enough at soccer.
I've had enough schooling.
I laugh enough.
I know how to save enough money at the grocery store.
I am a good enough cook.
I do unto others enough.
I am patient enough.
I get enough loving.

The more I type the word enough, the funnier it looks.

Friday, January 23, 2009

As Political As I Will Get

I love how much of an outlet this blog was for me in the beginning. I came to rely on the fact that it was always here for me when things were headed straight downhill. The mood to write often came when I was headed in that direction. But not so much anymore. I hope.

On inauguration night I was in class, but there was flittering buzz of excitement in the room. The hubs has never really "got it" though, so I was soaking it in where I could. Though I wish I'd been able to hear the words from Obama himself, I resorted to reading his speech the next morning. Some critics thought it somber. I once again replenished hope for some changes upcoming in my personal life that on the larger scale might seem a speck, and then for the promise of changes for a nation floundering in many ways, America and her people. Obama's words fell with heavy meaning on my ears...heavy, but not somber:

I think of the soldiers.

"As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages.

We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all."

I think of my role as a citizen.

"Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task."

I think of my children and their future.

"Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

-Barack Obama

Finally, it puts words to what my generation is feeling. Hope we can grasp and hold onto. That we are not stuck in our individual situations and that we must all be willing to change some to change the world. We don't live in the same times as our great-grandparents, or honestly even that of our grandparents.

"For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
" -Barack Obama

Thursday, January 08, 2009

No Nonsense

I wore mismatched socks today. All day. What can I say? I slept in this morning and basically just woke up and grabbed the first clothes I stumbled upon. Yep, hot mess mom driving her minivan and dropping the kids off at school. Well, I didn't get too crazy- it's not like they were brown and burgundy. One was plain white. The other plain white and read "No Nonsense" which is about how it felt knowing I was too lazy to search through the ever-growing clothes pile for their respective mates. It drove me NUTS!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

New Frickin' Love

New Frickin' Love = NFL

You know they say if you pretend to like something long enough you might actually start to like it. Yep, true (except for the departments of ranch dressing and kinky sex) for this woman.

I went my whole life despising the lack of care my dad showed while engrossed in NFL football games every Sunday and Monday. But I was let in on a little secret in fall of '06. My husband's work Fantasy Football league. I drew first pick and of course snatched up Peyton Manning. Manning took his team to the Super Bowl that year and I faithfully watched every Colts game! My first Fantasy Football team I called Brickhouse, the second Beat by a Girl, and this year it's very representative of my home life- HousewivesHoldingOut. A bit obnoxious as it uses every character space available. Already thinking of next year's team name. I'm considering Housewife with Cramps. What man wants to play against that?!

I was seated in front of HD NFL tonight, having dinner delivered to the door. A happy girl. Girls, since I now enjoy NFL with my husband, I have an extra day off every week- Sunday, and I don't even have to cook on Mondays or Thursdays. The housework can wait while the game is on. DH doesn't want me up darting back and forth. He wants me kicking my feet up by his side. Tell me now what is not to love?