Never Frickin' Fails

~ It's ALWAYS windy on garbage day.

~ When I need something that's in the mail, it comes the day AFTER I needed it most.

~ Sylvan Learning Center commercials make me well up with tears every time.

~ The phone will ring minutes after I lay down to take a nap, just as I'm about to enter Dreamland.

~ I run out of Diet Coke and don't notice until I sit down with a big 'ol salty bag of microwave popcorn.

~ The car breaks down when we have the least possible amount of extra money available to fix it.

~ If I need to leave the house for an appointment, I won't be able to find my toddler's right shoe, the phone will ring, and by the time I answer the phone and continue searching for the right shoe, my toddler will have his left shoe and both socks off.