Compulsive Liar

At the risk of the King of Compulsive Liars himself finding my post, he must be outed. In some deranged way I hope he runs across this. He will immediately know what he is being accused of, but of course will deny it with every bone in his body.

I would have said at one time he was my best friend of the opposite sex. I love(d) him. We spent many hours hanging out together and the hot desert summers we spent together were truly some of the best of my life. Concerts, road trips, floating the river. Rollerblading, loud music, and we even worked together at the local diner. Back then he didn't have to impress me- he was daring and knew that was exactly why I was attracted to him. He was my opposite in many ways. My friends would snicker and kick each other under the table with each progressive lie and I ignored it. Nothing could have made me change my opinion of him.

He married and moved away one day without so much as a good-bye. I didn't forget the boy who brought out my daring side. After several years we reunited and I saw for myself that the lies only got bigger and badder. I thought maybe after his marriage and children that maybe he'd have grown out of such a childish trait. I was naive.

Lying was his bad habit, his addiction. It wasn't drugs or alcohol that he so craved. It was the attention that the lies scored him. Each one must be that much more amazing to outdo the last.

And just to set the record straight for him:
They don't make capsules at the nuclear plant here anymore.
I'm sure you had a phone or access to one. They even get that in prison.
If you could get a job in Europe at $80.00/hour then why the he!! are you here?