Overprotective?!

Today at Costco my boys all came into the restroom with me. I couldn't possibly let them enter the men's room alone yet. A sexual predator could be lurking in the men's room stall and even with me standing outside by the door, one such pervert could easily expose his parts to the children forever scarring them so they are unable to have a healthy sexual relationship. And forget letting them go outside alone even though the back yard has a 10 foot high cement fence and alarm system when they touch it!

It just plain sucks how cautious we must be nowadays. My Grandparents vivaciously relive stories of their childhoods, running free in pastures and leaving doors unlocked. In fact, I am convinced that they knew every single neighbor in their neighborhoods by first and last name and whether each liked his or her coffee with 2 lumps of sugar or black. My Grandma used to straddle the wooden fence and pretend she was Gene Autry on Champion, corralling the cows gone astray. They could go down by the river and watch the Indians pulling in salmon or dig in the dirt with spoons. Yeah, back then it sounded so simple. Children were expected to play and be children. They ate raw cookie dough, played in the sun all day and didn't even have to wear seatbelts!

When I used to visit Grandma's I'd walk to the park a few blocks over, but I don't dare let the boys do that now- even together...because in the mail the other day Grandma received a sexual predator living in your community notice, and he's right down the street from the park! If they go, an adult will just always have to accompany them. First to ward off evil harm-doers. And even when they are teenagers because then it's to make sure they don't try some stupid prank like tying a rope to the merry-go-round and to a truck and spinning it mad-crazy. I can see them now "Mom, it's NOT COOL when you come to the park with us and I can put on my OWN sunscreen."

I can't believe how innocent and naive I was about all the danger out there until I became a parent myself. Once is high school I tried to sneak out at night to meet a boy midway between our houses. Imagine me creeping out into the night wearing flip flops and PJ's. I slowly shut the door so Mom and Dad wouldn't hear. I walk in the gravel by their bedroom window (looking back, not so smart...) and proceed down an entire block 'til I hit a main road. It's pretty serene until this shotty pick-up truck comes rumbling by and spots this teenage girl out in the night alone and I dive behind a fence and I'm watching through the crack as the truck flips a bitch in the middle of the road and comes back MY WAY. I start sweating and cussing under my breath hoping that they don't see me and they drive by slowly and thankfully must have been blind as bats. I felt so lucky as I ran home my flip-flops flopping as fast as my white legs could carry me. I don't think I was quiet on the way back in the door but I didn't care. My heart was pounding so loud I thought THAT would wake my parents. I never snuck out again. My one shot at it failed most miserably. I told the boy that I fell asleep.

Then one crisp November night I gave birth to my first son...who contrary to the urging of the nurses that they take him so I could sleep...slept soundly by my side under watchful eyes. That little bundle was the end of most things carefree about me. I might have only been 19 but I could have told you even then that I'd give anything to protect that new life, even my own life. If a stranger so much as LOOKS at my boys wrong, that's IT. All hell is breaking loose and hell hath no fury like a mother protecting her spawn!

Everywhere we go, they buckle into carseats. At the playground I make the older boys stay together. We are careful to monitor what they watch on TV or what websites they visit...in fact we sit side by side on the computers when they play. I'll probably walk them to school for a long time even though I can see the school from the end of my block. They'll get cell phones after elementary school we've decided. I just don't see a reason NOT to do these things.

It's like when I was learning to drive- it wasn't myself I had to worry about, it was other drivers...defensive driving. When you first hit the road you want to be aware of everything around you and it all starts blurring "Is everyone belted in...did I do my mirror check...blinker goes up for right...another mirror check...was that my turn?!" I want them prepared for whatever's out there but they've got a long way to go. You might call it overprotective...I call it love.