Ode to Staying Together

ie. my poems about divorce, there is no ode, I must be delusional.

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How long have I been on the outside?
So long
That you cannot take me back in?

These years idealized by
A girl, a boy, a dog
A two-story house
A paycheck every two weeks
And a coffee pot that
Brews instantly.

Hard work, harder life at home
Dealing with daily differences
And conservatively avoiding
Matters of the heart.

These are my slippers,
And this is my leather recliner.
I like our undersized peach bath towels
The puffy curtains
And the way you wake up earlier than me
Every morning to start the coffee.

But this place I can't call home
Without you here.

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Take the insecurities
Pack up the lies
The tears
The pain

Box the wasted years
Mementos and memories
Extra duct tape
To rot in the shed

No need to wrap
Your brute of a heart
Sure it won't
Get shattered in the shuffle

I've no need for negativity
Just don't forget
The two little packages
You're leaving with me

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Forethought: My Mom would never dress up and go out with my Dad. So this is what I thought when her new lover invited her out to a formal.


For one it's dazzle and dress
While the other cries in distress

Sequins and beads
Heart on the sleeve

Crystal slippers on tiny feet
Heart stomped on in defeat

Sweet victory
And still none at all

Cinderella,
Go have your ball

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Sludge built up
On the lines of communication
Aggravation
Ignorance
With a smidgen of bliss on the side

What was painfully draped over
Has become a plain indemnity
Feel free
To come and go as you please
Just don't leave wounds agape

Sad and sorry
No excuse
To walk the line of limbo
Clutch some lame vision
Of happily ever after
Alongside a man wet behind the ears

When all this bursts your seams
And you look away
Because it's too tender and torturesome
To put the blade
Into your own heart

Admit your ignorance
With little to no bliss on the side

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I'm afraid
I have gone the mental route
Wiped out
What was happening here and now
And replaced it with self-doubt

I'm not who I am
You must understand
There's another man
Who has made me see
What you no longer do for me

I despise
The look in your eyes
That doesn't seem to set me free
Transfixed too long
Salty tears erupt- and patience is gone

And I'm gone too
Though my body can go on
Without me
It's been a long time coming
This whole lie- no longer numbing

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