It's after midnight and when I lay down to sleep, random things keep reverberating around my mind. Sleep's not happening...for me anyway. Jason is sleeping so soundly he didn't hear me creep from the room and is oblivious to the clack-clack-clacking of the keyboard one room over.
Mother-in-law (MIL) called today and was in a talkative mood. I tried to be an active listener, nevermind the fact it's hard to get a word in edgewise. But the 20 minute conversation we shared led me to some understanding of FIL. They were both so young and naive when they met. MIL was being beaten by her stepfather and FIL was her knight in shining armor. I heard how he stood up to her stepfather, scooped her pitiful tear-drenched body up in his arms and took her home. He proceeded to wrap her in a blanket and gave her a glass of wine. He vowed "never again would that animal hurt her." The only way she knew how to repay him was sexually and a child was born of it, my future husband. They married way too young. When problems arose, he basically told her that if she wanted to walk out the door and experience her childhood to go and she broke his heart and took him up on it. He was crushed.
Which leads me to a better understanding of why he is the way he is today. In one word I'd define him as a hermit. The failed marriage and a drunken car accident in which he lost his arm and his best friend while he was at the wheel really turned him against opening up to others. I can only imagine how hard life has been for him, looking down and seeing where his arm used to be and thinking that damn- he was lucky because it was just an arm. Someone's life was on him.
Other things seem so minor after typing that out. But I will share anyway to get them out of my head. Tyler is going through something right now, and while I can't give details he's a bit stressed and could use some positive vibes if you've any to spare. Jason didn't get the supervisor position but another position has come up, one that he's attempted to get twice before. Third time's a charm? I got the nerve up to call my Mom out of the blue the other day, not to ask any favors but just to chit-chat. Thing is, she is just silent on the other end and waits for me to talk. I don't know how to take that.
I hear Jason stirring in the bedroom so I must get back to bed. He swears he sleeps better when I'm there next to him so I hope one of us gets a good night's rest!
