Three's Company

Having three boys, I can attest that much is true. Connor misses his big brothers while they are in school. He's getting into everything, likely because his largest source of entertainment- his brothers- spend a full day at school. I keep finding more reasons why I like to have three. People argue that a parent only has two hands. Indeed I do, but Connor's big brothers each have two as well. The times are changing and amusement parks, travel packages, and special events now offer specials for families of "four or more." More company to enjoy the fun. Always at least one brother that will ride the Dizzy Dragons with you. And my new-found favorite reason why I like having three- Buy 2, Get 1 Free deals for back to school shopping. I bought Tyler and Weston new socks and undies for back to school and got Connor's socks and Elmo underwear free.

Leaving Uneasiness Behind

I'm falling into the black-hole of comfort, the point of routine where it would now be a struggle to turn back. It has much to do with the passing of time. The people involved are predictable. The surroundings familiar. The performances at meetings, though sparse, are routine. I think a person can find comfort in many things- food, company, familiar territory, routine. But we don't have to necessarily like something or someone to be comfortable with it or them. It must follow that pattern of habitual predictability without straying too far, and as time passes, it melds into one's comfort zone. The black and white lines blur hazy gray. The initial uneasiness that comes with change fades into contentedness. Dare I say that for the moment I am content?

We're listing our house on the market! UPDATE

Yeah, that should be "We're NOT listing our house on the market!" Gah, I knew I spoke too soon. We've been calling around to get pre-approved by some mortgage companies, and well we can get pre-approved but the downside is there is still no way we can afford the payment on the amt. we are looking at unless I get a job. We are lucky to have the interest rate we do on this place (4.75%) so it looks like we'll be staying around until I can get a job and save up some more. We'd been using those mortgage calculators online and thought we were ok but someone we trust told us that those do not add in stuff like property taxes and homeowner's insurance which raise the monthly payments substantially.

I'm so bummed.

The up-side is that the house is looking really nice! Wallpaper is a bitch to remove and I'll never curse anyone with that crapola. We plan to keep updating because we've been having fun doing little projects and seeing the improvements. It's all been a learning experience for sure!

A Melt Momma Moment

The boys have been playing a little game where they fight over whose momma I am. It goes something like this, "My momma," then "No she's my momma!" back and forth until I say "I'm momma to all of you!" But last night, Connor got the final say. Since the boys share a room, some nights they stay up and chit-chat with eachother, sporadic giggles echo the room. Last night was not one of those nights. We had family come into town and the boys were simply spent, so bedtime was a breeze, or so I thought.

I passed through the hallway to use the restroom and saw Connor's big brown eyes peering around their bedroom door. I figured I'd go in and try not to say much to him so I wouldn't wake the older boys, re-tuck him in and see if he'd go back to sleep. He was especially lovey, pulling my face over so he could kiss one cheek and then the other. I tried to sneak quietly away and I hear this little voice pipe up from the dark proudly "Mine momma." With his brothers sound asleep, who was going to argue that?! It was a melt momma moment.

We're listing our house on the market!

Our tentative date is Sept. 5th! The realtor came through tonight and gave us an entire list of small touch-ups and improvements we can do in the meantime. We are going to be BUSY! So if I'm not on as much in the coming weeks, you'll know why. Back-to-school AND putting the house up for sale. It was kind of a recent decision because we both long for a house big enough to entertain company in. We might need to find an apartment in between because we haven't picked out anything to purchase yet either. I'm nervous. But we're going head first whether I'm ready or not.

Strange Fella

Isn't one of the first things you learn in kindergarten not to pop your fellow classmates' space bubbles? I think the man we encountered at lunch today failed kindergarten. He was clearly fond of children because he ventured over to our table way too enthusiastically. Now mind you this wasn't some waiter trying to entertain the kids. It was a stranger. A "couldn't be any stranger" type stranger. He approached with a get-up like this fashioned from his paper napkin.

Connor was not too keen on it and edged towards my Grandma on the other side of the table. The man followed Connor around the table saying in a wacky voice "What's wrong don't you like me? You're not afraid of the rabbit, are you?" He was urging Connor to put his finger in the rabbit's mouth. I was trying to summon the mommy radar signals and sort out his intents but my Grandma was smiling politely and Connor was in her arms now so I bit my tongue. He mentioned how his daughter just got married and he was waiting impatiently for grandbabies. The whole while his wife sat in the next booth and smiled on. And then the topper of the whole damn thing- he leaned over and kissed Connor's forehead. If Connor would have been in my lap the man woulda had a mouthful of that fricking stupid napkin rabbit.

I've reflected on the situation some and my mommy instincts were there the whole time. I didn't react. I strongly wanted to believe that maybe he just really enjoyed being around children and hearing them laugh. I felt I didn't react correctly in the immediate situation and since the feelings didn't pass right away, I used the incident to teach about stranger danger. I pointed out that he looked like a regular person but gave off a vibe that just wasn't right. I pointed out how he made us uncomfortable...he popped our space bubbles. The boys appeared to catch on and that's the best I can hope for. Next time, words will fly damnit.

Ty's Eyes

I typed this up once today, but blogger was supposedly went into scheduled downtime. Even though it let me type up my whole fracking entry, I couldn't post or save it as draft. Grrrrr.

Ty's eyes are gunna make me cry! We went in today for a follow-up with the optometrist because he got his glasses prescription changed 3 months ago. In that short period of time, things have worsened. His eyes aren't working together properly so it's like he's reading with only his left eye. It will affect his hand-eye coordination and could affect his learning down the road without care now. But alas, there is a solution and it's called Vision Therapy. Vision Therapy is a 9 month program where he would go twice a week to train his eyes to work together. The catch is it's $80 per session, so $160 per week for 72 weeks and you have a grand total of $5760.00!

My jaw did that! That is so much money for us. The Vision Therapy people and the optometrist are going to contact our insurance and see if we will be getting any coverage. Please send positive thoughts our way. I don't wanna look into these chocolatey brown eyes and say it's not possible!

Floral Flair

I just wanna dip my little toe into the artsy waters tonight. These all started from my original photos of the roses from Jason.

He Came Bearing Flowers

"What did I do to deserve flowers?" was all I could think when he walked in the door. He wore the smile of a man pleased and his eyes sported the little wrinkles at the corner that I find just adorable. And it was so random and so spontaneous and he said something to this effect;

"I came to a realization today. I'm done ogling other women. I don't look at other women the same as I used to because I have everything I want in you. I'm completely content with the way things are between us. I can't imagine my life without you. I don't ever want to know what it would be like to live without you." And it was all of his own accord (bonus points!) and I am almost positive I melted into a glistening sappy puddle on the floor.

Nothing Profound

Some days I sit down at my computer with all intent to blog something ingeniously profound. Today is one of those days. My fingers are at the ready position, the boss (my rambunctious, egocentric toddler) is napping peacefully in the next room, and all that remains is the repositioning of the thoughts from my head to the screen. Clack, clack, clickety-clack. I can dominate the keyboard and impose my will on it until words upon wise words fall heavily in a heap, compressing the others to the bottom of the pile until all that's left is pure insight into my tormented soul.

Not happening.

I've nothing profound to relay today.

World Breastfeeding Week, August 1-7

Cute, boobs on cake. Shouldn't they come in pairs? Nevermind that, World Breastfeeding Week is coming to a close. Breastfeeding seems to be getting more and more media coverage which I think is fantastic! Behold, the Babytalk magazine cover that caused controversy here. And the gallery of photos of Mommas nursing their wee (and not so wee) little ones here. Check out what La Leche League has to say about World Breastfeeding Week here. If you have a breastfeeding question you need answered, try my all-time favorite breastfeeding resource www.kellymom.com If you clicked on just one of my links, my post served its intent which is to expose breasts for their original, divine purpose; nourishing children!

I regret I don't have any breastfeeding pictures of my own to share. I don't have a single picture of myself nursing any of the boys. It saddens me that they won't be able to look back someday and know that I gave of my own body to nourish them. We aren't talking about whipping boob out with bells on. We're talking a nice, wholesome picture that shows child gazing lovingly into mom's eyes and mom returning that adoring gaze; bonding. I know I felt it but long for a picture that represents it. I want others to be able to see that picture so they have some miniscule inkling what I felt; how content we were in those moments. I was surrounded by people that while supportive of my decision to breastfeed, still felt it something to hide and be done only in private and never, ever talked about. I learned of the benefits of extended breastfeeding too late in the game, but I have this opportunity to get the word out so that's my goal. Appreciate all that breasts can do. Celebrate breastfeeding. Hey, maybe even have some cake!

Line in the Lap of Luxury

I've found how to make standing in line a little more pleasurable. The line at the city recreation center is ridiculous when it comes to signing the boys up for swim lessons. Here's how I deal.

10. Grab a coffee. A nice venti caramel frappuccino will do the trick.

9. Fill out paperwork while you wait.

8. Strap on your iPod so if you don't feel like conversating you can put the headphones on.

7. Bring a multitude of magazines.

6. Wear comfortable shoes.

5. Two words- electronic yahtzee.

4. Fill out a comment card as to why they should put sign-ups online and get with the times.

3. Go early. The people in the front of the line are the first to leave.

2. Bring a friend. Unfortunately, none of mine put their kids in swim this summer.

1. And the number one way to make standing in line more pleasant is leave the kids with a sitter. I can't stress this enough. Kids don't want anything to do with standing in line for 2 hours and will make your life completely miserable if you even attempt to submit them to line-standing.

I took the boys once and never again. Now I have the hang of it. Grandma came over to watch the boys and I went prepared. It was even slightly pleasing to be jamming to my tunes as I watched other Moms exasperated trying to locate and corral rowdy children while I sipped caffeine delight and browsed the pages of Shop, Etc.