Horse Sauce

Have you ever been embarrassed to order something because of what it is named? Last night at the Arby's drive-thru my husband requested "Horse Sauce" and I went "What is Horse Sauce? It says right on the packet it's Horsey Sauce." I'm thinking of all the horrible things Horse Sauce could be. At this point he tells me he knows what it's called but HE DOESN'T WANT TO SAY IT. Clearly, Horsey doesn't sound manly enough. I'm sure the lady at the window would have just died laughing had a grown man said "Horsey."

I admit that I've been out in public and resorted to choosing another menu item because I didn't want to say the name outloud. Here's some of my not-so-favorites, and don't get me wrong...some of them are great tasting. But can you really look the waitress straight in the eye and order Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity? Jackeroo Chops? Sweet Chook O' Mine? Moons Over My Hammy, Vive La French Toast (yes, do live long french toast) or the ethnic dish Poo Poo Platter. Bang Bang Ji. Chee Cheong Fun- hmmm that does sound entertaining. Who names these things?

Maybe you're a Pointer. The waitress comes over and politely asks "What can I bring for you today?" and you already have your menu turned to the right page and extend your pointer finger triumphantly.

Abbreviator? Shorten the name. I'll take the Moons.

Gamer? Perhaps you like a nice game of Taboo. How do you get your waitress to say the name of the menu item without you actually saying it? Ex: "I'll take two eggs, two bacon, two sausages, two pancakes with fruit." And the waitress says "Ma'am we have that in a meal, the Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity." Yeah that's it!

Maybe you prefer someone else do it for you, a Delegator of sorts. When I was little, my parents did the ordering for me. Yeah, that works. "Hey honey, would you order this for me? I need to go use the restroom." And then make a quick escape as the server weaves her way to your table.

Or maybe you are like me, the Avoider. You just find something else on the menu altogether. You didn't really want the Poo Poo Platter (and yes...at our local Tahitian restaurant, that is how it's spelled!)

You go ahead and order your silly dish- and try to say it without cracking a smile- I'll be one booth over giggling with you, not at you! =D