Curves

What should be a great week hasn't exactly been. I've dealt with my husband not using the proper outlets for his stress and anger. It's causing him problems at work in the form of a write-up and no promotion for 6 mos. and on the road in the form of speeding. He was also way too excited to purchase RAM for his computer and didn't want to shop around, and $115 later, we have the wrong type sitting in front of us. I'm upset but he finally admitted today "I'll start listening to you." Is there an end in sight to hasty decision making and unpredictable anger bursts? Undoubtedly, we hope so!

But despite that, I am trying my damnedest to keep a positive attitude. I'm psyched that I finally went down and joined Curves. I might add "weight loss tracking" to the many functions my blog performs- a place I can jot down my feelings during the process and keep track of weight fluctuations (hopefully losses) and exercise. My starting weight March 1st was 145 lbs. That's the most I've ever weighed (not pregnant) and I was really starting to feel it right around the middle. I was losing what little curve I did have. It was time to take my body back. I let 3 babies borrow my womb for over 2 years and nursed for an additional 9 mos. My pre-pregnancy weight was 117 lbs. and the most I weighed being pregnant was nearly 160 lbs. with my middle pregnancy. I have come to terms with the fact I'll never be that skinny beanpole with jutting hipbones again, but I don't have to live carrying around a spare tire either- ha! My goal? 130 lbs. How I'll get there? Curves 3x/wk and soccer 1x/wk. The cupboards are prepped for weight loss too. It's not that I'm avoiding junk food, but I have healthier choices around so I'm not so tempted.

When I joined, I was surprised to learn that I'd have to give 2 reasons why I wanted to be there. It took me off guard because I would have given the superficial reasons 1) to look good and 2) to feel better. After some deeper thought, my reasoning was that I want to be around for my children. I want to be healthy and happy for them, able to keep up with them. My other reason is because I want other people to know I care about myself. When that bout of depression hit, I felt like I wasn't one of my top priorities. People around me saw my frazzled and worn down outside. I looked like I'd rather be at home asleep. So many things could have been judged from my outer appearance at that time! I shudder to think. This is my way of telling my loved ones that I still care about myself. I want it to show inside AND out. I also want to STEP IT UP when it comes to playing soccer and get a little stamina for all that running! I play with some girls who are fresh out of high school and damn can they run. It makes me feel old but that's a rant for another day! Plus I've heard that exercise does wonders for depression. Since I'll be putting up with Mr. PMS for awhile, the time investment alone will be well worth it!