Making it up as we go along

Unfortunately for some folks, "parent" doesn't come with a job description. There's no manual. No returns. When your first little bundle is placed into your arms, you are plunged headfirst into a sea of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, and tear translating.

When I was pregnant I read every pregnancy book I could get my hands on. My mind was a virtual library of information regarding gestational diabetes and frequent urination. I knew the possible first signs of labor, the breathing techniques, and nearly everything that COULD go wrong. I thought reading all those books and pamphlets were preparing me for what was to come.

BOY WAS I WRONG! I nearly passed out on my first trip to the bathroom after delivery. And whoah, look down. Those do not look like my parts. Will it ever look the same again? You want to know if you can cut his what? And the sleeplessness. My little alarm clock was up every two hours to suck on raw and bleeding nipples. Damn it hurt. But why was there not one single sentence in those books about how this huge piece of my heart would be ripped out and live outside of my body forever? No one told me I'd be willing to walk to the ends of the earth for that 10 lb. 1/2 oz. bundle, but I'd do it in a heartbeat.

It was after this that I swore off parenting books. The physical stuff is pretty accurate. Yep, my toddler has a pot-belly and a large head. He gets diaper rash from time to time. His stomach is about the size of his fist. Got it. But no one knows my sons like me. They have individual needs which no book can ever categorize. The relationship between mother and child is too complex to put into words. I don't believe anyone can tell me how to raise my child any better than I can figure it out on my own. Plain and simple.

No one can tell you how to love your children. That part comes naturally. And that's all we need. Live and learn along the way. We splash in mud puddles. We fingerpaint with pudding on the highchair tray. We sing a song when it's time for a bath. We deal with drama as it arises. It's about individual needs. What's best for my children clearly may not work for yours or the next Momma's. What works for one of my boys might not work for all of them. It's about versatility and willingness to adapt.

For what it's worth, your child will probably clue you right in to your job description. It becomes easier as time goes on. As children are added to the family. I wish I'd known then what I know now! But one of my most important realizations was this- I'd much rather have pieces of my heart walk around outside my body, than keep it all to myself.