My Tarnished Halo

Friday, May 26, 2006

Karma Strikes Again

10 years of being a safe driver (or at least not being pulled over!) have come to an end. On my very own street, I failed to stop at a stop sign. I know I slowed down but can't say definitively that I came to a complete stop. And brilliant me, the day I didn't stop at the stop sign, I pull out right in front of a cop. But I wasn't ticketed today, and I will tell you why I think that is. Karma! I was on my way to donate two bags of clothing to the Goodwill.

A little leftover karma from yesterday helped me too. I donated a bag of some of my stockpiled toiletries to the women's shelter in the morning. Shortly after that, I went to do something I never do. I took the van to Jiffy Lube. You know how they will change your oil but they always find a hundred other things wrong? I had a tail light out. For an additional $6.99 they fixed it. I could have been ticketed for failure to stop at a stop sign AND a broken tail light today, but I wasn't.

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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Soccer is a Kick in the Grass

I just ordered new cleats. Cute Adidas with pink stripes. See?
“If you don't love what you do, you won't do it with much conviction or passion.” Mia Hamm

Friday, May 19, 2006

Happy Birthday Connor!

The morning was rather calm and productive. By productive I mean that all three boys were preoccupied. I forget how much I can get done when the 3 stooges aren't with me! I didn't have any special birthday plans for Connor (the party is this weekend) so it was a pleasant surprise when my Dad called to come pick Connor up so they could spend a few special hours together this morning. Connor got his fill of pancakes and sausage, followed by some shopping where he picked out his own birthday present. I ran errands and I swear the things I accomplished in those two hours would have taken twice as long had I been weighed down by the boys. Once the boys were back home, we settled in for some R&R. With a full tummy, Connor went right down for his nap without a fuss. I jumped into bed too.

I woke from a deep sleep to the home phone ringing, then my cell phone, then the home phone once again. When the home phone rang a second time, I jumped up with a sense of urgency. It was my dear sweet husband telling me I'd be glad he called regardless that it woke me. He warned me of oncoming storms. And not just that but our area had received a tornado warning. I think that's when I finally lost all grogginess. We are not an area known for tornados. I can vaguely remember one or two previous tornado watches. I could hear the thunder starting to reverberate and the growing pitter-patter of rain hitting the tin roof of the shed behind our house. Have you ever watched a storm blow in? There is something so surreal about the moment. Like witches brew it bellowed and bubbled our way. The birds were darting madly about. The lightning was putting on quite the show. I start calling the family to make sure they know about the warnings.

At this time I decided to call my best friend in Seattle to tell her about the tornado warnings. The first thing I said was "Tornado warnings..." and she jumped into this story about a dream she'd had recently. As if I wasn't already a bit worried, crazy girl told me that in this dream, she let go of me in a tornado. Here's her actual message to me HOURS BEFORE. I hadn't seen it yet when we talked on the phone. She assumed I had.

ok.. so I had a dream last night that you and I were at a party in some field in xxxxx and everyone started running for their lives because a tornado was coming.. so you and i started to run and it was following us and it was right over our heads and it started to suck you up and i was holding on to your legs and a fence at the same time then my grip started to give and if I didnt let go of you I would get sucked up too and I let go and you got sucked away.. I woke up sooo freaked out... any insight on what this means? Im still pissed off I let ya go!

I'm into dream meanings so I might tackle this one another day, but it was just so freaking strange and coincidental that she dreamt about being in a tornado, and then in a place that it never, ever happens gets the message to keep an eye on the sky! To make a long story short, I stayed on the ground. The power flickered but didn't go off. The ground is pretty wet and I saw a couple branches on the ground. But thankfully no tornadoes. I got all worked up over a thunderstorm. Something I might've quite possibly enjoyed before I had kiddos to protect.

That's not quite how I want to remember Connor's actual 2nd birthday. We have some cheerful events coming up that should shed more positive light on this milestone for him. I want him to remember sampling frosting on chubby fingers and unwrapping shiny presents and the smiles on the faces of loved ones around him. I know at his age he won't remember details but someday when he does try to look back, I want him to remember that overall feeling of love and security and what every grown up wishes they'd had- a happy childhood. Even when the weather is bad he is still the sunshine of our lives.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Pool Par-tay!

There is one positive thing about Mom's new house. It's got a pool! I have so many fond memories growing up by the pool at my Grandma's house. We held BBQs and Birthdays poolside and even watched the local airshow overhead while we swam. Many a sweltering summer night we lingered just chilling by the pool. My cousins and I would hold freestyle dive contests and play Marco Polo for hours until our feet and fingers were pruney. I wore my very first 2-pc. by that pool. Yep, that was back when I was all skinny and didn't care that my suit was blazing neon orange and pink and rode up my butt until my white cheeks met the light of day. These horrid-dry-heat-in-the-90s days that we've been having make me wish I were that carefree again.

Where there's a pool, there's a party. This Saturday Mom and her boyfriend invited the whole family over for BBQ and swimming. It meant I needed a new bathing suit so I spent my morning shuffling through the racks of swimsuits at Target. 98% of them were 2pc. Not that I was surprised by that. I thought I might go 1pc. but didn't have enough cute options. I had a helluva time trying to locate a top and bottom in the same size. Apparently, women aren't equally proportioned top to bottom and some must have only wanted one half of a bathing suit...ok then. I was about ready to give up. Ever tried on 20 mismatched swimsuit tops and bottoms with a curious toddler that doesn't want anything to do with a shopping cart? I'd found a top that suited me but not the right size of bottoms, and I was ready to leave with all or nothing. Knowing that people sometimes discard things on random racks nearby, I checked those and wa-lah, small bottoms to go with my medium top.

So here it is! It's black w/ silver pin stripes. What, you'd thought I'd post a picture of it on? Uh, no. I have to muster up the courage to put it on Saturday.


























And for kicks, here's my new Kathy Van Zeeland. Will look cute with strappy brown sandals, no?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I <3 my iPod


I'm a total music junkie. Pretty much anything but country or rap strikes my fancy. I just finished swaying to Boyz II Men and now I'm rocking with Rush. Next up might be The Cardigans or Nickelback. How can you not love shuffle? Some days, it's music that brings me through less stressed, less damaged. Housework gets done. I burn calories. I've missed the phone because the music was too loud. Sometimes I wear my iPod in public just to avoid conversating. I told the clerk at the post office that it was off, but I listened to Pink Floyd while he weighed the packages. I love how you can pick up someone else's iPod and groove to a whole new mix. Download one song instead of the whole album. Continuous music loop. Music can instantly transport us back or away. Sometimes the song is the setting for making a memory. Nine Inch Nails as I get what I shouldn't. Tool as I hold the hand of my best friend who is awestruck by a stellar performance. No Doubt as the crowd unites and warm bodies are refreshed with a silvery drizzle of rain. Music defines moments...unites us. Those with the voice are blessed. To those who share their talent, I feel like I'm opening a gift every time I flip my iPod on. And for that, you fucking rock.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Mommy's a Happy Lady

What an absolute pleasure it is to be a Mom. Daily I feel blessed to have my three joyous little boys in my life. Yesterday morning I woke up to the boys literally bouncing up onto the bed, handmade gifts and cards in hand, eager to hear my response. Tyler made me a pen with a flower on top and a sweet lavender card that he'd cut fringe all the way around the edges on. Inside he wrote "Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hope you have a Happy Mother's Day too. Love, Tyler" It also came with a flower pot he'd painted hearts on and some Snapdragon seeds. Weston had constructed a paper bag photo album with a large bow on the cover. His favorite part of the gift he kept pointing out. He'd written "I <3 you." Connor was full of extra cuddles. All in all, what a way to wake up! Something only Mommas know is that the love just keeps growing. Just when you think your heart cannot contain it anymore, it grows and expands to let more love in. I felt as though my heart could burst.

I got up and prepared brunch for my Grandmother on Dad's side. My Dad and Uncle came to brunch as well. At first I thought I was crazy for volunteering to prepare a meal on what was supposed to be my "day off" but once I got started cooking, the contented feeling set it and I knew I was doing something special. Once everyone was full I felt the whole experience well worth it. What is it about Moms that we need to make sure everyone is full?

I barely had time to tidy up the kitchen before leaving to my other Grandma's house. The rest of the family met up there for a fried chicken lunch with all the side dishes. I must've heard Happy Mother's Day a hundred times over there. It's always so nice just to hang out with the family and hear what everyone has been up to.

Next was a little time for myself...soccer! Since most of us that play are Mommies we decided to keep our scheduled game. The weather was beautiful. The sun was shining brightly. So brightly I have a horrible sunburn today but not even that can bring me down! We played a fair, evenly matched game. 5-5 tie score.

We picked up Dairy Queen for dinner. Later when we put the boys to bed we thanked them for giving me a special weekend. I ended the day by watching two of my favorite TV shows while sitting by the hubby's side- Survivor and Grey's Anatomy. I hope Burke and Denny pull through. I am psyched for tonight's finale.

I fell asleep feeling nothing but blessed.

Sunday, May 14, 2006


Dress Up Games, Glitter Graphics, Cartoon Dolls, Myspace Graphics from dolliecrave.com

Especially for the BBC Mommies

I've shared the past two years with.

There's been tears and laughter,

trolls and drama too,

but the best part of the journey

has been sharing it with you.

Sappy I know but I've been meaning to tell ya! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Now go enjoy your families!